Warning: This post is coming from an introvert whose natural tendency is to retreat to solitude regularly.
[weariness] : lacking strength, energy, or freshness because of a need for rest or sleep; reluctance to see or experience any more of something.
There is a certain weight on my chest that sits heavily, making breaths shallow and my body sluggish. I don’t have the same energy or enthusiasm for life. I lose my chipperness. My smile becomes infrequent. I either sleep too much or way too little. More than likely, I begin to slip on responsibilities and in my relationships. I have a constant desire to run – to hide under my desk where no one can find me and no one can ask me for anything. I enclose myself in a shell and focus on the task in front of me with blurry vision and a mind pulled in thirty different directions.
I am weary. And life is too much.
I try usually to find a 10-step solution to every problem I have – some article online that lists my symptoms and diagnoses me with a spiritual band aid,then sends me on my way. I try these steps and usually see/feel no resolution.But there are a few things the Lord revealed to me this morning about relief for a weary soul –
- Retreat to His presence spiritually.
What I think this means is, wherever you are (at your desk, in class, in traffic, etc.) allow your mind to refocus on Jesus. Say “no” to the overwhelming thoughts of what you have ahead of you or behind you and just say “yes” to the presence of Jesus in that moment. It isn’t time consuming, nor does it require actually going anywhere. It’s a quick reset button for that moment.
2. Retreat to His presence literally.
More than likely, you (like I do) need solitude with Jesus. You need to set aside a time in your schedule soon to just do nothing. To be responsible only to you and Jesus. He wants to give you time to process and to “turn off” for refreshing. This might mean cancelling plans for half a day, or for a whole weekend. I tend to call these my “do nothing days”. They happen less often than they should working and going to school full time. But I have to have them in order to remain sane.
3. Lay down what I’m holding on to unnecessarily.
I am holding on to my control of situations that are extremely out of my control. I’m holding onto fear of losing people in my life or of their perspective of me changing based on something I tell them about myself. I’m holding onto my need to do everything myself and fix everything for everyone – to be all things for all people. I’m holding on to anxiety of being less than other people. I’m holding onto my comfort zone and not allowing myself to step one inch outside of it. I’m holding onto the pain of other people and making it my own problem (by the way, this is called a “busybody” or “medler” in 1 Peter 4, and it is not a good thing).
But I need to lay it all down. I need to lay it down and simply hold onto the truth of who Jesus is and who I am, even though I’m still figuring that out. I am always going to be authentic in my blog posts. So here it all is.
“Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me.” (Psalm 116:7)